Whistling in the Dark

It went really really well.

It was amazingly fun.

And sitting in the cast party, looking at the kids, at my castmates, at everyone....

...I got this sudden sense. This sudden feeling. This will never happen again, it said. You're done.

And I realized it wasn't the play, though that is done, of course. It was just a sudden, certain sense that I was never going to be in another one of those. Like this was the last hurrah.

And I realized that if I never acted in another play, or did anything theatrical again... the sun would keep coming up and going down, and theater would go on and things would happen, and no one would ever notice. Just like no one ever noticed when I stopped doing Renn Theater, or anything else.

That isn't a knock on other people. That's the nature of theater. You never notice the actors who aren't in plays. Just the ones who are.

And I don't know why, but I got a sudden, deep sense that I would never be in another production. And that the only people that would affect in this would is me, myself and I.

I slipped out of the party, headed for home, and here I am.

Dude. Play's over.